Baby Boomers

Due to the abundance of excellent health care available in Washington State, California and the surrounding area, we are living longer than ever anticipated. But as seniors age, some may need help if they want to continue to live independently. More often than not, it is the already overscheduled children of the baby boomer generation that are called upon to assist their parents to age with dignity.

On a recent visit to your parent's home you notice the mail is three days old in the mailbox, medication is scattered haphazardly over the kitchen table, the refrigerator is empty and neither parent has apparently bathed since your last visit. Your parents are adamant that "everything is fine".

How do you identify when your loved one needs help and how do you help without taking away their autonomy? The following may be helpful in your conversation and observation of your parents:


Be Honest. If you are concerned about their needs, say so. State this in an "I" message. Example, "I am concerned about your diet, you seem to be loosing weight." Or "I noticed that you call me often and forget we have just talked, are you concerned about your memory?". "I am ...".
When parents call you frequently and complain about vague symptoms, sometimes they are telling you that they are scared or lonely. Try to get to what the underlying issue is and don't focus so much on the vague symptoms.

All medical complaints need evaluated by a health care professional.

Tell your parent(s) that you respect their autonomy. Wanting them to be independent and to support their independence, you need to know a few important items to help them when and if an emergency presents itself:

What kind of legal planning have they done? If they become disabled could you or another party take over without going to the court system? This means they have a Durable Power of Attorneys for both Health and Finances in place.

Talk about their finances. What is their monthly income? Where does the income come from? What are their assets? Get a list of bank accounts and brokerage accounts. Is the income sufficient to meet their needs? They could be entitled to some governmental programs if they are low or even middle income.

What is their medical insurance and what numbers are associated with those policies. What is their social security number? Do they have life insurance policies or long term care policies? If they have this insurance get the names and phone numbers of these companies.

Have they pre-paid for funeral and/or burial expenses? Where have they done this? What are the phone numbers of the mortuary and/or cemetery?

Who are their doctors? What medications are they currently taking? List all the medications and determine what they are taking them for. Ask them if they take any over the counter medications or vitamins or herbs.

How often do they see friends? Do you have the names and phone numbers of their friends?

Ditto for their religious community.

Are they drinking alcohol? If yes, how much?

Are they driving safely? Do they have convenient transportation?

Identifying when your loved one needs help is not difficult when a medical emergency of accident occurs. However, the slow progression of dementia or depression might not be apparent through telephone calls or short visits. If both of your parents are alive, the well spouse often compensates for the other's failing and may deny anything is wrong. It is a good idea to think proactively when caring for aging parents.

Below is a list of "Red Flags" to watch for when visiting your aging family member:

Change in weight

Change in short term memory

Change in usual routine

Change in speech and/or ambulation

Bills not being paid

Entering contests

Refusing to go with friends on outings or going to church

Refusing suggestions as well as agreeing with everything without giving consideration to consequences

Mood swings, getting angry quickly

Refusing to see medical providers

Inability to take care of activities of daily living: cooking, dressing, bathing, housekeeping to name a few.

Once you have decided to become proactive in helping your aging parents, your next step is where do you go for help?

If you are in a crisis mode, or do not have the luxury of time to gather this information options like The Personal Touch, LLC for Elder Care is available to work closely with your siblings, other relatives and parents to design the most cost and care effective plan. (options for eldercare)

Call today for a free assessment 1-877-896-3980